Overwhelm isn’t just about tasks left undone. It’s a tangle
of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors all feeding off each
other. And most of us are taught to focus on only the behavioral layer:
- Make
a list
- Push
through it
- Stop
procrastinating
- Just
take action
But here’s the truth: when overwhelm takes hold, your
thinking may be distorted, and your feelings may be flooding your system
— which makes clear action almost impossible.
A = Affective: What Am I Feeling?
The word “overwhelm” is vague. Underneath it are unnamed feelings like fear, worry, sadness, guilt, or shame — but if we don’t identify them, we can’t work with them. Instead, they just weigh us down.
In psychology, we call this emotional flooding — when the amygdala hijacks the brain and puts the rational part of your mind on mute. You’re not lazy. You’re flooded.
Do this: Name the feeling.
“I feel stuck” isn’t the same as “I’m afraid I’ll mess this up.” And when we name the real emotion, it loses some of its power.
B = Behavioural: What Am I Doing (or Not Doing)?
This is where most people try to fix the problem — and where they get stuck.
If you’re avoiding tasks, procrastinating, spinning in busywork, or defaulting to habits that don’t help, you might assume the solution is more willpower. But behaviour is the output, not the root cause.
In one of my recent mastermind sessions, someone said she kept skipping the same task every week. When we dug into it, it wasn’t about discipline — it was fear of judgment wrapped in silence.
The move: Focus on action only after checking in on what you’re feeling and thinking. Otherwise, the action will either stall or backslide.
C = Cognitive: What Am I Telling Myself?
This is the part we almost always skip — and it’s where overwhelm quietly takes root.
It sounds like:
• “I don’t know where to start.”
• “I don’t know how to do this.”
• “I should be further along by now.”
Here’s the thing: those thoughts feel factual in the moment, but they’re rarely questioned. And that’s where the jam begins — not in the task itself, but in the story about the task.
In psychology, we call this cognitive distortion — when the brain defaults to foggy, fear-based thinking under stress. The solution isn’t to ignore the thought or plow through it. The first step is to challenge it.
Ask: “Is that true?”
If the answer is yes — for example, “I don’t know how to do this” — great. Now you’ve got clarity. So then ask yourself:
• Who can I call to help me figure it out?
• What research do I need to do first?
If the answer is no — if you do know how, and you’re just doubting yourself — then shift to:
• What’s the very next step I can take?
• What’s my actual worry, and how can I reduce its impact?
This isn’t positive thinking. It’s accurate thinking — and it’s the difference between staying stuck and getting traction.
The biggest mistake smart people make in overwhelm is trying
to out-hustle it. But the ABCs don’t work in isolation. They’re interdependent:
- Unnamed
emotions (A) cloud your thoughts (C)
- Distorted
thinking (C) blocks your action (B)
- Stalled
action (B) loops back into shame and anxiety (A)
That’s why just telling someone to "do the next
thing" doesn't work. The gears are jammed. You must unjam them first.
Next time you feel stuck, skip the pep talk. Do this
instead:
- Affective:
What emotion am I feeling right now? Can I name it clearly?
- Cognitive:
What story am I telling myself about this task or situation? Is it
helping?
- Behavioural:
What one small action would feel possible after I’ve addressed A
and C?
Then take that one action — not to “fix it all,” but to
reset momentum.
Overwhelm isn’t a flaw. It’s a system overload.
And smart people get caught in it because they’re so used to powering through,
they forget to power down — even for a moment — and ask the right questions.
So — which part of your ABCs is driving your
overwhelm today? A, B, or C?
