“When I have more money, then I’ll be happier.”
“When I lose 20 pounds, then I’ll be proud of myself.”
Sorry folks – this type of mentality is a disaster!
The ‘when’ portion of a when/then statement is usually about an external event while the ‘then’ portion is about an internal feeling. Bringing external and internal together like this creates self-sabotage, frustration and a feeling of being not good enough.
“When I have more money, then I’ll be happier.” Both of these – making more money and being happy – can be achieved independent of each other and need to be separated.
The first step is to recognize your own when/then statements. Some of them you may say aloud to others but most you simply hold quietly in your head.
Action – Divide a sheet of paper into halves vertically. With the line being in the middle of the sentence, write out each when/then statement you know you have, making sure the ‘when’ portion is on the left side of the line and the ‘then’ portion is on the right.
Decide if you are willing to make the goals on the left happen and choose to have the state of mind outlined on the right regardless of the goal occurring or not.
(An old when/then statement of mine was ‘when I can make a cold call without procrastinating, then I feel more confident’. What is a when/then statement that keeps you stuck? Please share by leaving a remark in the comments box.)