During a coffee break in one of my seminars a few months back, a man pulled me aside to talk. While this is a common occurrence, I was a little stunned by how off-topic his comments were.
He said “I really like all you time management information but I’m concerned about something else. My wife says I’m not a good listener.”
Listening is a skill anyone can improve. It wasn’t until I began studying psychology that I learned some of the real tricks to truly listening to someone.
Action – First, as someone else is speaking, do not formulate your reply. Wait until they are done so that you brain is not busy listening to itself when it could be hearing someone else.
Second, listen for words or phrases that are repeating. Often, if we are not truly hearing and responding to someone, they will say things over again, trying to get our attention. If you hear repetition, you have been missing their point.
And third, when alone later, internally debrief important conversations you have had with others. This will help you remember things the next time you meet up with this person again.
About six months after sharing these tips with that young man, he emailed me with a very short message – my wife says “thank you.”
You are most welcome.