Everyone wants to hear the words “thank you”. This is because most of us want to feel we are doing good for others.
Their acknowledgement through gratitude reinforces and encourages us.
Wanting appreciation only becomes a problem when it turns into a need for approval from everyone around us. It is like an addiction when we choose our actions, goals, outcomes and results based on whether or not we think we’ll get recognition from others.
This type of behavior is unhealthy and fundamentally destructive.
Maybe you don’t think you are an approval seeker. Well, here are some sure signs that your desire for acknowledgement has turned into an addiction:
- You have trouble saying no to others
- You do just about everything the boss or client asks of you, even if it’s unreasonable
- You get annoyed if others do not show you respect or appreciation
- You choose priorities by the likelihood of gaining respect
- You do not pursue your dreams because others might mock you
Whose life is this? Yours or theirs?
Action – The first step in moving beyond the approval addiction is in allowing yourself to do so. Give YOURSELF positive reinforcement by celebrating your own accomplishments, without waiting for others to do it for you. Be your own biggest cheerleader.
Sure, receive thank-yous with grace. But do not NEED them!
I love this article. Btw, what about my behaviour to the others, Nancy? Should I say thank you too often?
Hi Hoai Anh – If you find yourself constantly saying “thank you” to the same person who seems to be addicted to the appreciation, then talk to them about it. Otherwise, keep saying “thank you” – frequently, sincerely and from the heart. You cannot say it too much!
I will. Thank you 🙂