Ever have someone say something with a smile but it felt like you’d just been slapped in the back of your head?
The Irish call that a ‘joke with a jag’.
These types of backhanded remarks seem innocuous enough. Yet the recipient can often feel abused and confused.
Said with a smile, a statement like – Hey Bob, your report is great, if you like that style – is actually quite aggressive. Well, let me restate – it is passive aggressive. And it’s hurtful.
Granted, not everyone realizes they are making jokes with a jag.
Yet others do indeed know that, on the one hand, they have a valid point but, on the other hand, they do not have the courage or the know-how to make a more direct statement or request, and so they resort to sneaky digs.
Action – These insidious forms of communication can destroy a team or team member. If you are a manager, deal with it. If you are receiving these stabs, speak up. And if you are giving them, find alternate ways to speak your truth.
Jokes with a jag are no joke at all!