Are you not having a good day? We all falter sometimes. All it takes is a little unasked-for criticism or someone just treating us harshly to trigger us into a spiral of negative self-talk and anxiety about not being liked.

When you need to remind yourself of your worth fast, it’s good to have some ideas in mind. Try these quick tips for getting yourself back on track even when life seems out of control.

Go into a Judgement-Free Zone
OK, so your thoughts aren’t what you wish they would be. You know you’re in a depressing cycle. Your emotions are all over the place, and you’re starting to hit critical mass when it comes to criticism. You already know you’re not supposed to be reacting this way. So to make your awful day a little bit worse, you start beating yourself up for how you’re treating yourself. This is entirely the wrong approach. Your first step must be to stop the negative spiral. Drop the judgment. Accept you’re having a bad day. This moment doesn’t have to define you. With these thoughts firmly in mind, it’s time to let things go.

Drop the ‘Should’
For those that have hung around me for a while, you know that I believe the word “should” is one of the most detrimental in the English language. There are even some languages that don’t have a word even remotely close to the concept of “should”. Why get caught up thinking about ‘shoulds’ anyway? The moment you start using this particularly devilish little word, you’re telling yourself what a failure you are. You have become caught up in a vortex of perfectionism; you can’t possibly escape. ‘Should’ never helps anybody. Erase it from your vocabulary.

Stop Looking for Validation
Anytime you think someone else can give you what you need to feel good about yourself, you’re going to be disappointed. People will let you down (intentionally and unintentionally). Even in the best relationship, it’s not healthy to use someone else to define who you are. This kind of thinking can be dangerous. What if the person you relied upon was no longer in your life? How would this then impact your self-worth? If your sense of self-worth is enmeshed in another person, you are destined to be lost without them.

Come to Terms with the Past
It’s time to separate your actions from yourself. When you make a mistake, acknowledge the error and move on. To get caught in a spiral of shame or guilt only hurts you in the long run. There is nothing to be gained by victimizing yourself. Forgive yourself and move on.

Know Where You Excel
For a super-quick fix to your self-worth, take a moment to list off the things in which you excel. Acknowledge your accomplishments. A close examination of all the things which make you proud will give you a solid reminder you are indeed worthy.

By paying attention to these five areas, you can quickly restore your self-worth. The key is to be alert and move quickly to head off negative thoughts before they undo all the hard work you’ve already put into yourself.

PS – The image above does actually work at a psychological level to help you feel good. Give it a try, give yourself a hug.

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