If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you will know that I think it’s important to stay away from toxic people. Y’know, those folks who always have something negative to say.
But what if you are the negative one in the bunch?
Look at yourself honestly. How many negative words come out of your mouth every day? Do you rehash old issues long-since resolved? How quickly do you find fault in someone else? Who usually bears the brunt of your blaming attitude?
We all have a negative side, so I’m not pointing fingers. But I am suggesting that if your day is lonely, sour or you just sense others are avoiding you, perhaps your toxic ways and words are pushing them away.
Action – You may already know your negative tendancies but if you aren’t sure, ask 5 colleagues if they think you have a positive or negative outlook.
It takes courage to ask people, particularly those who may not give the answer you want to hear. By doing this exercise, you may discover the key that unlocks your ability to communicate more effectively with others.
Their answers will signal what you need to do next.
(Agree, disagree or just have a thought to share? Please leave your reply in the comments box.)
I met a DAV this past weekend who was quite the opposite of negative and toxic, and the contrast was amazing!! He has 3 purple hearts and 3 minor disabilities due to injuries incurred in Viet Nam, he was left with 4 small children 40 years ago to raise on his own and since then widowed twice, he survived cancer twice …. and yet at age 73 he has the most wonderful attitude I’ve ever encountered. He says “thank you” every day for all of his blessings!! I’ve never known such a positive person. I almost felt he couldn’t be “real” but in the day we spent together he lost his credit card and his actions and attitude throughout the process or finding it, pointed to just how REAL he is. Wow!! I see the value of giving up the negative and toxic and embracing the blessings!!
My question is, how do you deal with people who come to you to spill their negativity? How do you politely let them know they can’t trashtalk your coworkers?