Everyone is in school, every day. And part of the “school of life” is learning how to accept what can’t be changed and how to live creatively with what is within your control.
While you can influence certain things, you cannot control:
- How much money you make
- What your kids become
- The future of the company
- The state of the economy
- Who moves in next door
- Whether the guy down the hall does his work properly
- Or if your spouse even loves you
Acceptance is hard for many of us. But when we accept what can’t be changed, we open ourselves up to the infinite possibilities available to what can be changed – ourselves.
Action – Release your grip on the people and things you are trying to control. Shift your attention to more creative solutions you really have power over.
Open up a world of opportunities through acceptance.
Dear Nancy, this is the hardest lesson of life! once you learned it everything seems easier. like the way you tell us. common sense and common knowledge. thanks for being with us every day! Caterina
Nancy,
Thanks for the important reminder about not being vested in the outcome. Let the universe take care of the details. This is a huge stress relief when a person can do it successfully.
Necole
Thanks for the important lesson of life, very difficult to learn (or accept) for most of us… it is really essential to carry on less concerned and more smiling.
“More smiling” indeed!
Dear Nancy,
This indeed is a real stress buster! It reminds my father’s advise during crisis situations – “what cannot be cured must be endured’.
I don’t really agree with the notion of “enduring” but, yes, the principle is still similar – if you cannot control it, stop spending time trying to do so.
Dear Nancy, interesting reflection… As much as I can agree with the general principle that there are many things in life that can’t be controlled, you can (and should) definitely work to try to influence their outcome. You may not be able to make the final decisions, but you have to try. In the end, that’s what life is about! Are you not in danger, otherwise, to become lifeless, indolent? On the other hand, I totally agree with the conclusion that change comes, first and foremost, from within.
I agree that attention can be put on endeavoring to influence things, Kurt. However, most people spend a significant portion of their day “trying to control” that which either they cannot control or which simply cannot be controlled in any event. It is the extent to which people ‘control’ rather than ‘influence’ that causes us a lot of grief. Focus more on controlling yourself and then work to influence through definitive action, appropriate attitude and mindful integrity. Then let the rest of it go.
Good advice!
Thanks!
Liza
I think the struggle for many is in understanding the difference between control and influence. I would bet that many that try to control would actually tell you that they are just trying to influence the outcome. And yes…you are absolutely correct that trying to control much of anything past our responsibility for and responses to situations is a total energy zapper and a waste of precious time and often other resources!
Thank you for the reminder. I am currently reading: Losing Control Finding Serenity-Daniel Miller. On point.