A listener emailed recently with a very common concern.
He wrote – When people at work just want to chat and chat, how do I set boundaries without being offensive?
His situation happens every day. If you are working with others, you are going to chit chat – it’s a necessary part of socialization.
Action – Instead of attempting to indirectly slide out of the conversation, use techniques like this:
At the start say “Bob, tell me more about this but please note I only have five minutes.”
And if you’re in the middle of a discussion that doesn’t seem to be ending, it’s absolutely okay to say “Jane, I’d love to hear more but I have a commitment elsewhere. Do you want to get together later or can we wrap this up in the next couple of minutes?”
Believe me, within the general dynamics of the social interactions that are a part of office life, both of these boundaries are respectful, clear and acceptable.
Sorry but I disagree with the solution Nancy. because I have practiced this action way back and frankly it will only make you enemy of entire office.
Did people get upset because you were setting some boundaries?
How do you approach a situation when you work in an open plan and everyone is being incredibly loud?
Are there others who also find it loud? Excessive noise is recognized as a significant contributor to daily incessant stress levels.
I have found that a variation of your solution does work. However, at times, I have had to be more direct and just state that ‘I have a deadline, and can’t chat now’ and offer to go for coffee tomorrow. And then follow up with the coffee. The other solution is that I do not engage in non-work chat, unless I take a coffee break with someone. This establishes a boundary that most work people understand.
Yup, that’s good too. And then, of course, when you do keep your promise of coffee tomorrow, you become more trusted. Many people are used to hearing “lets do coffee” and it never happens, so they can be more pushy in the moment to chat.