And Now For Something Completely Different

I’ve had a ton of emails come in from people who are sharing their thoughts and opinions on the current situation regarding Covid-19. That’s understandable – people are saying things out loud which, for most of us (myself included) helps us work through our feelings and figure out our stance on something.

But I’ve not seen many people talk about what they are actually doing. So I wanted to take a quick moment to share with you how I’m responding to the situation.

1.    I’m preparing for a new normal

I’m hearing people say “when things get back to normal”. Well, it is reasonable to believe that our way of being pre-Covid will not return. Not in the exact same way anyway. So, I’m positioning my work and my personal life for a new normal.

Together with my husband, we are revamping retirement plans, financial goals and long term planning for the family. We are tweaking our plans for holidays this summer and are looking at the things that matter most to us, as individuals and as a couple. And for myself, I’m spending a lot more time on self-care and self-development (more on that in a moment).

Regarding work, I’m having more enquiries for the “therapy” side of my Business Psychology expertise. My 1-1 work is mostly with solopreneurs on building their business but other folks, from all walks and communities, have contacted me about “mindset mastery”. They want to know how to be more psychologically resilient, flexible and adaptable. They want new coping strategies and are recognizing the power of perspective, especially with the notion of “control”.

So, here are a few things I’m preparing for when things get to their new normal:

  • I’m working on a new piece of “big content” for later this year, probably before the summer
  • I’ve already launched a new Facebook group for individual business owners – Solopreneurs – No Secrets, Just Systems (I’m even more fed up with ‘gurus’ suggesting there are secrets to be bought rather than systems to be built)
  • I’m improving old content from The Morris Code vault and bringing it right up to date
  • I’m improving my own systems and adjusting them in advance of the new normal

2.    I’m creating new content specifically to address how businesses are shifting in light of Covid-19

Watch for more on this in the coming weeks

3.    I’m learning new things

Lifelong learning has always been a big passion of mine. No matter what is happening in my business, I always dedicate weekly and/or monthly time to learning something new, both directly related to my work and also just for the fun of it. Given the bits of extra time I’ve got right now, I’m dedicating specific time to learning something brand new. Plus, this is going to be a new normal of mine. Instead of randomly giving time to it, I’m cutting out a full morning every week. No work, no family – just me and learning.

4.    I’m giving back to my business community

In my own way, I’m sharing ideas, advice and guidance that I’ve learned over the years. While of course I’ve never dealt with a health pandemic before, my 20+ year business (and 15+ year career before that) has seen tremendous ups and downs caused by recession, market flips, my moving country and restarting, the bottom falling out of a particular market and so on.

(Hint – a key thing to remember for yourself right now is that you have also seen these times before. The big difference between then and now is that it is happening to all of us at the same time, en masse, rather than to individuals or businesses one at a time, quietly in the corner of a community).

So I’m spending a lot of time right now connecting with the greater community, hosting webinars and online seminars and offering parts of my TMC content for little or no fee to companies, organizations and communities who ask for it.

So, that’s how I’m responding to things.

Action – Now, I’d like to hear from you. How are you responding to the current situation? I’d really like to know. Leave a comment below or send me an email (nancy@nancymorris.com)

Old Lessons Relearned

I’ve been in this type of work (personal and professional development) for 20 years and yet it never ceases to amaze me how frequently I learn a new lesson.

Well, let me rephrase that. I am relearning old lessons.

No doubt the same is true for you. In fact, I often hear from people phrases like “I thought I’d gotten past that limiting belief” or “why does this keep showing up”.

I don’t actually have the space here to parse out all the psychological theories and research that has gone on over the years about “old lessons”. So, I’ll try to summarize some of the thoughts on the subject.

  1.  Lessons are never really learned. They are learned on that day, in that context, for that desired outcome. The underlying idea might be remembered, such as “give what you want to receive” or “time flies when you’re having fun” but each day is a brand new day (oh, there’s another lesson). In that new day, we are – and have the opportunity to be – a new person. We have grown a little bit (hopefully) and have evolved ideas (even a tiny bit). The context has changed somehow.
  2. While our long-term memory may hold all of our lessons, accessing it is not always easy. The more you use a neural pathway, the easier it is to recall in future. If you learn a lesson, such as “I am capable of doing X”, how often do you actually do “X”? Probably not that often. The more frequently you do “X”, or remind yourself that you have done “X”, the more easily you can recall the learning.
  3. Sometimes, we set ourselves up for the drama. You know it, I know it – sometimes, we just complicate things for the drama. Perhaps we like the challenge of solving this particular “problem” (even though we already know a likely solution) or we love to dwell in our own suffering, so we allow external and internal noise to have a higher volume that it deserves.
  4. Speaking of internal noise, humans have a tendency to compare our outsides with other people’s insides. In other words, from our vantage point of “self”, we evaluate and judge ourselves against what we think others are experiencing, good or bad. We see Good Ol’ Jackie getting all the praise for a job well done or Poor Young Bob having a hard time of things. Of course, rapidly evaluating our social and environmental conditions is a natural process of the brain. But the noise it creates internally is a learned behavior. Unfortunately, most people don’t (a) realize that internal noise is a learned behavior and/or (b) recognize that quite often our internal noise is fundamentally false and/or (c) pause long enough to challenge the internal chit chat. 
  5. And external noise is all around us. Gurus, retailers, commentators, branding, marketing imagery, etc fills our every day. Again, we rarely pause long enough to question that noise as it relates to our Self. I know a lot about marketing and influencing and, yes, even how manipulation works. Yet, I am susceptible to the messaging to buy something I don’t need, or believe something that is not true. I have even been known to quickly forward a Facebook post about something only to find out that it was complete BS. Fortunately, I am not as susceptible as I used to be primarily because I do take the time to check in with Self regarding my motivations, needs, desires and wants.

Action – In a nutshell then, next time you hear yourself berate yourself about some old lesson you “should” have known, remember:

a. You are in a continuous state of growth and regrowth; there isn’t a destination

b. Your brain doesn’t always give you accurate information

c. You are harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else, and that is completely unnecessary (and is a learned behavior too)

d. You will be learning lessons all your life, thank goodness!! Be a willing student.

(Something tells me you know all this already LOL)

 

Negative Emotions and Trust


I often draw inspiration and ideas for many of my posts through my own personal experiences. That generally lays the groundwork or theme of what I write. From there, I add in the science aspect – what we know in psychology – and whenever possible, marry it to our daily working life.

So, I could go into a long story about a personal drama that is playing out in my family right now, but I won’t. Suffice to say, there have been numerous conversations about the idea of “trust”, what constitutes it, breaks it and creates it.

There are other posts on this blog that delve into the subject from various viewpoints (just use the search box on the right). But I wanted to come at this from a different direction today and that is the relationship between some of our emotions and our ability to trust others.

While reviewing some research in academic journals, I came across a very well written summary of how our negative emotions (in particular) can impact our ability to trust others. Take a moment now to read it using the link below.

Action – But before you open the link, prime your brain with this three-part question:

  • How are my negative emotions in any aspect of life impacting the degree to which I trust others?
  • In turn, how is that negatively impacting my daily choices?
  • And my overall career?

Here is the article.

I Have A Confession

I’m always a bit intrigued when I meet people who think that, because of the work I do in personal and professional development, my life must be totally sorted.

Zen-like.

Balanced.

As much as I’d like to say it is, of course it is not.

I become stuck, feel envious, get bogged down in noise, get angry ‘unnecessarily’, let things overwhelm me, and just about everything else.

I argue with my husband, worry about money from time to time, have little patience with the stepkids sometimes (who are now in their 20s), want to hibernate away from everyone and just cannot be bothered with doing “today’s” work.

However …

And it is a big “however” …

I possess a deep sense of confidence and calm, knowing where these things are coming from and exactly how to get back on track. I do not berate myself (as much) anymore nor do I judge myself as a failure in some way.

Every day, I know some squirrel is probably going to tempt me or throw a curve ball in my direction. And that’s okay. In fact, it is part of the fun.

Action – What magic pill did I swallow? None (though a glass of wine or G&T can certainly be helpful).

It is a matter of the choices I make on a frequent basis. These are the same choices you can make too:

• Practice some degree of mindfulness throughout the day
• Pause in gratitude frequently
• Praise myself for the things that I do that are a stretch
• Notice and acknowledge others for who they are
• Purposefully shut off (or at least tone down) the inner critic
• Stop listening to all the “secrets” – I know me best
• Believe in something bigger than me
• Raise my self-awareness constantly
• Be a lifelong learner.

In other words, many little decisions made throughout the day, every day. No magic pill. No “30 days to a million dollars”. Just daily consistent, persistent attitude and actions.

Your turn.

What the Funk?

Bob paced back and forth around his small cubicle space. Frustrated about feeling sad, and sad because he was still feeling frustrated, his work day seemed to be falling apart, and it was only 9:30 a.m.

“What is this funk all about?” he asked himself.

The term “funk” generally means a low-grade depression (i.e. not serious) that comes from a sense of pessimism, a feeling of inadequacy, ruminating on a past negative event, or even from the darker days associated with winter in the northern hemisphere.

We all experience that funky feeling from time to time. It is a flowing mood, driven by the science associated with neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine. And while I’m a big advocate of increasing self-awareness, sometimes trying to understand a funk simply makes it worse, as Bob was quickly discovering.

Instead, just being aware of the funk and not examining or judging it, is the best first step.

Action – Once you’ve accepted your funk, here are a few things that could help shift your perspective (if you want to):

  1. Positive reminiscing – Something happening in the not too distant past that made you laugh, smile or feel all warm inside. What was it? Sit with it for several minutes and allow yourself to feel those emotions again. Need a prompt? Flip through the pictures on your cellphone. We tend to take pictures of things that make us happy.
  2. Immerse yourself in nature for a few minutes – Even the biggest homebody will find some joy in nature. Whether it is taking a brisk walk in the fresh winter air or gazing down from a 27th floor office window, purposefully notice nature in all her glory. Colors, animals, plants, trees – all these things will calm your mind if you pay attention to them.
  3. Connect with someone – Pick up the phone or walk down the hall and chat with someone. Don’t use the time to bitch about how you feel but intentionally direct the conversation to uplifting or positive things. Who knows – you might be helping them out of a funk too.

There is no need to overthink most funks. Of course, if it hangs on for quite some time, or starts to disrupt your sleep, health or relationships, then it is time to discuss it with your doctor. In the meantime, don’t judge it (which will likely make it worse).

Just accept the fluidity of your feelings and make simple shifts of focus or attention.

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