Invariably, there are conflicts at the office. While bullying or harassment needs to be reported, we can manage most of our scuffles ourselves.
Action – First, keep your discussions relevant. Stick to the issues instead of attacking each other.
Second, stay present. When annoyed, we have a tendency to dredge up past incidents. If you didn’t discuss Bob’s bad behavior with him last month, now is too late to bring it up!
Third, don’t sling mud at someone’s identity with phrases that start with “you are…”. Talk about behaviors only.
Fourth, stop saying “you always” or “you never”. These generalities are provocative and likely untrue.
And finally, recognize your own unhelpful attitudes or actions that may be contributing to the negativity of the relationships.
You are not going to be a buddy with everyone all the time. But there’s no need to be arch enemies either!
(Originally broadcast March 19, 2008)